Sunday, December 11, 2016
What Happens When I Watch TV and Eat Chocolate at a Late Hour and then Blog
Sometimes life hurts.
I was just thinking about that after having a fun family movie night watching Arthur Christmas (for those who haven't seen it, watch it right now; it's adorable), then deciding to continue our healthy tv streak by watching an episode of Monk with my mom.
It started out weird. And cute. And funny, even funnier than most Monk episodes. But then disaster struck and it was just so emotionally heart wrenching that Mom and I got up when it was over agreeing "Well, that was horrible."
That's kind of a ridiculous example of life problems, but you know what I mean, right? There are those fun outings with friends where something really awkward happens, or someone gets sick, or people are dealing with problems at home so they just don't seem themselves anymore.
Problems like that, from small to big, don't get media attention. They don't get put in movies, or books. They just crop up in our everyday lives reminding us that life isn't perfect.
But there's something in us that tells us that something's wrong with that, right? We instinctively know that this life must not be all there is. These little nagging imperfections remind us that the momentary pleasures we can get from moment to moment, from laughing with friends to watching tv to just browsing Pinterest, are always mixed with a little bit of grief, a little bit of pain. Nothing ever seems to fulfill us.
That's one of the reasons that I love music so much. It takes me out of myself almost to another world, distracting me from the problems at hand so I can just sort of float and not worry about what's coming next. I'm kind of a chronic worrier--I get nervous about anything from casual social events to teaching piano lessons. Even though I've done those things a million times and nothing that bad has ever happened. So music is an outlet. Whether I'm making it or listening to it, it helps me forget, and reminds me that there is beauty out there. When I get home mentally exhausted from a long day, the first thing I do is turn on some music and just let all the awkwardness and the little problems of the day float away.
Music is kind of like prayer. You can abandon yourself to music the same way you're supposed to abandon yourself to God, when you just sit in his presence and he lets you know that it's going to be all right and that the little problems of life are nothing compared to those little beauties of life that are so easy to ignore sometimes.
So often I forget that God's waiting for us to turn to him. Not so he can take the pain away, but so he can be with us. He can hold us and let us know with little things like the right song at the right time, or the perfect Bible verse, that He's there and He cares.
Life hurts. But God heals.