Why I Chose a Secular College Over a Christian One

In the middle-class conservative Christian subculture that I've been born into, college is nigh a given. Going to a Christian college is highly, highly recommended unless you want to become a partying relativist who makes Cheese-Whiz towers in his or her spare time.

Thus when I chose to go to a local community college I did it to save money and perhaps to be a rebel.

But after a few weeks of commuting to classes (look at experienced me  :P) I think even if I did have the money to pay the steep admission rates of a Christian private school, I would still make the same decision in a heartbeat. I know this will come as a shock to many, so here are some of my reasons (in list format, of course, because my brain is too fried right now for a logical sequence of ideas):

1. Exposure

My college English professor is a somewhat angry liberal who pushes the PG-13 rating in every class, and I wouldn't have it any other way. As a homeschooler I haven't had much interaction with the rest of the world except for online, and it is SO different in real life. I think going to a Christian college would have been nigh similar to homeschooling because I would still be around people who have the same general beliefs and language and boundaries, whereas here I can practice appreciating and learning from people who are vastly different from myself.

2. Faith

Even thinking about God in college is SO HARD. I've realized that for my whole life I've been just going with the flow around like-minded people.

3. Practicality

Now for the obvious: this college is much cheaper than any private college. Not only that, but here I can actually major in the subject that I love the most: music. And the professors and students are all plugged into my hometown community, which means that getting a job in music will (hopefully) be relatively easy. Also the professors here are amazing at what they do, and chosen specifically for their abilities rather than for their religious background.

In conclusion, I figure that I might as well pay for challenging and practical lessons in my area of study than for a Christian community that I'm already plugged into for free.

So there you have it! A condensed version of my current thoughts.

*ducks a barrage of Bibles and VeggieTales DVDs*

What do you think about going to a Christian college? Feel free to disagree!

7 Favorite Songs Tag

MJ Watson (who has elected to make her blog private now) has tagged me to describe seven of my favorite songs, specifically my feelings and thoughts while listening to them, and why I like them.

So without further ado...cue the depressing lyrics!

1. My Shot (Clean Edit), Hamilton Original Broadway Cast

This one pumps me up whenever I'm feeling purposeless or lazy or just tired. It's also perfect because the runtime is exactly how long it takes for me to drive from my house to my church. #noregretsincludingcheesyhashtags

It talks about fighting against seemingly impossible odds:

"Rise up. When you're living on your knees, you rise up."

It then ends with Hamilton's decision to not view life as an experience, but as an opportunity:

"Ask anybody why we livin' fast and we laugh, reach for a flask--
We have to make this moment last, that's plenty...
Scratch that. This is not a moment, it's a movement
Where all the hungriest brothers with something to prove went"

The fast raps are super satisfying to sing along with now that I have the lyrics memorized. And the song reminds me of the real-life Alexander Hamilton, whom I feel like I know personally since reading the enormous biography that the play is based on. Seriously, guys, I got really emotional at the part when he died.

2. Drown, Tyler Joseph

You knew I couldn't go long without mentioning twenty one pilots in any form. This is from Tyler's album No Phun Intended, which he made when he was 17. The recordings aren't that great, but considering his age and his limited equipment it's an impressive album. It can only be found on YouTube, by the way.

But now for this song in particular. In dark moments it makes me feel less alone, and the lyrics are addressed to God so they help me to pray when I can't form the words myself.

"I wanna be a lot of things, so much pent up inside of me
I wanna be stronger, too long I've sat here undecidedly...
...And I'm back in front of you, Lord, with blood on the floor
Is the blood mine or yours? Don't wanna do this anymore,
Back and forth between being me and who you call me to be..."

3. Where the Light Shines Through, Switchfoot

Somehow Switchfoot reaches me more than a lot of other Christian bands. They have the same Christian genre formula that I usually dislike--talk about a problem in verse 1 and then resolve the problem by the chorus--but the way they do it feels more genuine than the other artists I've heard try this.

Unlike Tyler's music, which is usually just about the negative aspects of life, this song starts with the negative and goes to the positive--yes, there is a wound, but that's "where the light shines through."

"Yeah the only tattoos I have are scars,
I've got your name written on my heart"

4. Everything, Passenger

Passenger's music feels like running through a faraway forest and then jumping in the ocean on a deserted beach. For some reason it feels nostalgic to me, even though I only discovered his stuff recently.

This song is no exception, and the lyrics are a poignant and oft-needed reminder that it's impossible to be fulfilled in life without loving without counting the cost, and letting your heart be broken.

"They'll take your spark, they'll take everything
But nothing's ever something until you lose everything"

5. You Will Be Found, Dear Evan Hansen Original Broadway Cast

I love listening to Ben Platt's voice, and the gorgeous harmonies when the entire casts comes in on the chorus. It's pretty self-explanatory that this is another song for dark moments.

"Maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be ok."

6. Sailboat, Ben Rector

Another song for getting frustration out. Ben Rector's voice is beautiful too (what is it with Bens in the music industry??) and the lyrics are about loneliness and loss of direction, but they're also infused with hope and a feeling of freedom.

"I feel just like a sailboat
I don't know where I'm headed
But you can't make the wind blow
From a sailboat"

7. Little Wonders, Rob Thomas

This is the song that plays through the ending montage of Meet the Robinsons, which for many reasons is my favorite Disney movie and has influenced me deeply. Rob Thomas' raw vocals, mixed with the thoughtful lyrics, are the perfect combination and they encourage me to keep moving and enjoy little moments in life.

"Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulders
Don't you know, the hardest part is over...
...All falls away, but these small hours,
These little wonders
Still remain"

I'll be lazy and tag whoever feels like taking this tag. There are no rules--put in as many Jack Sparrow gifs as you want for all I care...

...but if you don't feel like doing the whole thing, what is your #1 favorite song, and why?

10 Stages of Being Obsessed With a Band (Told in Twenty One Pilots Gifs)

1. Indifference

You hear one of their songs, and you're not sure what to think. "Meh," you decide, and go back to your comforting piano Pandora station.

You also have a good time making fun of your friend who is currently obsessed with them.

(You give your friend a noncommittal thumbs up, and then laugh at him/her.)

2. Grudging approval

One day the same song somehow shows up on your Pandora or Spotify, and you are bored so you click on it and you realize that you may, in fact, like this group.

Kind of a lot.

Which means you can't make fun of your friend anymore, so you feel betrayed by your musical preferences.

3. The Secret Binge

Whether through YouTube, Spotify, or the good old-fashioned library, you listen privately to every single song. You also watch concert recordings and acoustic performances, both of which may or may not make you cry from the beauty. (You need to watch these videos in order to check whether they are using autotune or not, and whether they get into the music. And how weird their fans are.)

Bonus points for dancing along like an ecstatic velociraptor.

4. The Not-So-Secret Binge

You give up on secrecy and download every album on iTunes, then spend the rest of your waking moments making your parents and/or friends watch the videos. (The acoustic ones, of course, because the music videos are too weird and the concert ones are too high-energy.)

After the initial I-told-you-so moment, you also bond with your friend who introduced you to them in the first place.

Bonus points for sharing inside lyric references and secret handshakes with said friend.

5. The Buying Spree

You buy band paraphernalia so you can hopefully meet people who like the same band. All you get are weird looks, but you feel very cool.

6. Stalking

You put your iTunes albums on shuffle and look up your band on Pinterest, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, and (when you're really desperate) the YouTube comment sections.

You smile and laugh at the cute posts and pretend that the posts you disagree with do not exist.

You find things like this.

And this.

7. Stunned Realization

You notice that the songs are constantly playing in your head, and that whenever someone unwittingly says a word that is in one of the band's many songs, you mentally finish the rest of the line.


Real-life example:

Family friend: "Could you put that in the kitchen sink please?"

My brain: "I'm a kitchen sink. You don't know what that means. Because a kitchen sink to you is not a kitchen sink to me, okay friend?"

My brain: WHAT HAVE I BECOME


8. Fading

You still listen to this band, but you start going back to groups that are your old favorites because you feel your interest in the music slowly sliding backwards. It is a terrible nausea-inducing feeling.

9. The Last Goodbye

Gradually this band has only become another fixture on your playlist. You say a tearful goodbye, grateful for all that this band has taught you.

10. Moving on

One day you hear a song that connects with you almost like the songs from your old favorite band ...and you're back to Step 1.

This was a lot of fun to make. :D Have you gone through this experience? Would you add any steps?

Did You Miss Me? Here, Let Me Throw Music At You

It's good to be back.

That being said, suspending technology use during Lent must have been divinely inspired because it was exactly what I needed. Now my attention span is slightly longer than that of a caffeinated goldfish, my to-be-read list has been growing smaller and larger in spurts, as all healthy TBR lists do, and I have realized that my powers of procrastination are such that I can spend a day only checking email and chats and still get nothing done.

It sounds weird, but everything has a new excitement to it. Playing the ukulele or guitar or cello or piano is more fulfilling than it was when I could easily look up YouTube covers instead. Talking to people is more invigorating because it's a way to hear news and someone's unique perspective, and even schoolwork is more interesting because heck, even if it's boring information it's information.

Anyway, yesterday I was practicing a Mumford and Sons song on the guitar (surprise) and I started thinking about how it related to Easter, and I figured that might be an interesting thing to explore in an Easter post. So if you don't like Mumford and Sons or cheesy theological ramblings, feel free to leave and go eat some jelly beans. ;)

It's called "The Cave."

*cue cheers from Mumford and Sons fans*

Have a listen/watch:

(This is my vision of London, by the way: bookshops, old piano tuners, and Marcus Mumford crooning/screaming into a microphone.)

Ah, the symbolism.

First off, the references to the cave, which I've heard is supposed to represent Plato's allegory of the cave, but it also works for the cave that Jesus was buried in.

Second, the redemptive lyrics that, as I was thinking about them, could relate to Jesus or to us. The first-person narrator has heroic elements to him, but he is also a sinner in need of redemption. Maybe the chorus could be seen as a dialogue between Jesus and the narrator:

Jesus: "I will hold on hope and I won't let you choke on the noose around your neck."

Narrator: "And I'll find strength in pain and I will change my ways; I'll know my name as it's called again.

I love the "noose around your neck" line because of the mercy implied there. We've tied the noose around our necks by rejecting God's love, but God reaches down in his mercy and, just when we've kicked the box from under our feet, lifts us up. He doesn't let us choke on the evil that we've chosen to get lost in. Instead he saves us with his passion and death...and resurrection.

And when we celebrate the resurrection, it's not enough for us to chill and do nothing. We need to respond to God's love by changing our ways, and even when we fall again, finding strength to keep going, especially when it is painful.

Which brings me to what struck me this Holy Week as the coolest part of the Easter mystery: "I'll find strength in pain" is not only our line, but also Jesus' line. Yes, Jesus was perfect in his divinity, but he was also human and he didn't want to go through the excruciating torture that he went through for us. But he found strength even in his pain, and he prayed that his Father's will be done.

So when we mess up hugely, which I will likely do soon, we can find comfort in the fact that Jesus is right there in the pain and he lifts us up.

Happy Easter.

The Home Stretch (In Which I Break My Long Silence)

As I labor desperately to finish my rushed, 50,000 word magnum opus, I'm listening to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" on Spotify (the program which has saved my word count). The lyrics are strangely suitable for how I feel about my book so far:

          "MAMAAAAA, I KILLED A MAN."

Before you think you might want to read my story, be warned that it started out somewhat dark and just went downhill from there. I realized this when I was summarizing my story for a friend and I remarked that the plot for no apparent reason had turned rather dark after the first few chapters.

To which she pointed out, "Wow, after *insert depressing backstory* and *insert various terrible inciting events*, then it got dark."

Sarcasm is fantastic, especially how it reveals the truth better than just saying it directly. Maybe that's because sarcasm demonstrates how your train of thought instinctively doesn't make sense, rather than just stating the truth.

Anyway, that's how my story's going. It's kind of a downer (depending on what kind of books you like to read), the character development leaves me confused, and the plot holes are big enough to drop the main character's ego through.

So I'm very pleased. It's looking like I'll finish my 50,000 by the 30th, which is the main thing that matters right now. Right now I care more about writing a story than about making it perfect, which I think is the goal of NaNoWriMo.

Well, I'm off to listen to more eclectic music and to blow up some fictional ships! (The sailing vessels, not the pairing up of fictional couples).

Or maybe I'll just watch tv and keep writing later. Because that's how my writing process works.  :P

If you're interested, you can keep up with my word count with the widget on the left-hand side of my blog.

And for those who are also struggling to finish NaNo, best of luck.

Random Things #3: NaNoWriMo and Returning Home

Those who are longtime acquaintances know that I have the Sherlockian habit of forgetting to tell people, even the friends I see every day, about little things such as going to Hawaii for 2 weeks. I do, however, remember the important things, such as release dates for new Brandon Sanderson books, or old songs that I just discovered on YouTube and that I think are the coolest things ever.  :P

Speaking of songs on YouTube, have you heard of Steve Moakler? The youth minister at my parish
(who is awesome, by the way) looooves his music, and because of her I just recently discovered his
song "Slo Mo." It's hilarious, and so chill! I can't say anything about the rest of his music because I've only listened to a few songs, but "Slo Mo" is clean and cute. Hehe, cute like the music artist...in this picture, doesn't he look like a mixture between Orlando Bloom and Jordan Taylor (for those who watch Blimey Cow)?

Oh yeah, I was talking about vacation. Well, Mom, Dad, and I were just on vacation to Hawaii and it was fantastic. Swimming in the surf, boogie boarding, teasing my dad about how much I love Ed Sheeran (because Dad can't stand him), practicing the ukulele and actually going to a ukulele festival (!), eating lots of pizza, hanging out with my sister-in-law who joined us for a few days, watching Lilo and Stitch and stranger sci fi films, sleeping in (sometimes), reading, racing for quarters at the bottom of the pool, working on my novel for NaNoWriMo...it was tiring but enjoyable.

For those who haven't heard of NaNoWriMo, it stands for National Novel Writing Month and it's a celebration in which maniacs challenge other maniacs to write a 50,000 word novel (novella?) all in the month of November. The official website lets participants log word count progress and win badges on the way to the finish. It sounds ridiculous, but this competition has actually produced rough drafts for published novels such as Cinder, the first book in Marissa Meyer's Lunar Chronicles.

So I, being another maniac, have decided to take up the challenge. This decision was perhaps aided by the fact that I'm homeschooled so I'm creating my own writing program this year. Guess what I have scheduled for the whole month of November!  :P



Anyway, I'm allowed to plan as much as I want as long as I don't actually start writing the book. So far my plot consists of a few hastily scrawled notes in a planner purchased at a Hawaiian ABC store, and it involves dragons, pirates who zealously worship said dragons, villagers, and a super cool dragon hunter. I'm not sure how he's going to be super cool, but he will be. Oh yeah, and an old guy who sells explosives. In short:

12% is optimistic.  xP

If I have time in November I'll give you a few updates on how the story's going. I've dabbled in short stories, but I've never endeavored to formally plan something this long and actually finish it. Hopefully it works out between school and work.

Also, my parents generously gave me a ukulele for my birthday so it's one of my favorite instruments now, as you may have guessed from the Hawaii description. It's much easier to play than the guitar, but there are still a ton of possibilities for songs. Heck, I started playing "Hotel California" on it! The intro is a lot of fun.

In Hawaii Dad and I sang Will Smith's "Men in Black" rap while I played the chords on the uke. It was fantastic. I tried doing the rap part, which was not the most beautiful and I ended up dissolving into giggles, but it was a good time. We're thinking of starting an informal YouTube channel where we can post random covers, and our band name will be the Bad Cover Bandits. I'll keep you posted on that.  xD

That's what's going on right now, although I'm pretty sure I must have forgotten something important like an alien invasion. Ah well, you'll find stuff like that on Facebook when it becomes a problem.

P.S. I just received Hamlette's gorgeous bookmark from the Tolkien Party giveaway! Thanks again, Hamlette! I'll have to post a few action photos later.   :)

Have you tried NaNoWriMo before, or heard horror stories about it? Is writing something you enjoy? Bonus question: what's your favorite song on the ukulele? 

Top 5 Christian Rock Songs

Gotta love Blimey Cow.

There is a lot of sub-par Christian rock. Like, a lot of it.

I just wanted to throw that out there. *waits to be pelted with tomatoes and worship songbooks*

Christian rock tends to fall into the rut, maybe more than any other genre, of each song sounding the same. Ok, country sometimes has that problem, and probably pop too. Maybe I just notice this with Christian music because I've been listening to K-Love from the tender age of…actually I don't know what tender age. Let's just say I was really young.

Anyway, there are some genuinely good Christian songs, with good lyrics as well as a good, unique sound. At least unique to my relatively undeveloped music taste.

Here are my top 5 Christian rock/pop/whatever songs. There are a lot more good ones out there, but there's only so much room and I only have so much initiative.

(I won't number them, by the way. That would require being decisive.  ;P  )

"Free to Be Me"

"I got a couple dents in my fender, got a couple rips in my jeans. Try to fit the pieces together but perfection is my enemy, and on my own I'm so clumsy but on your shoulders I can see I'm free to be me."

"Speak Life" 

"Lift your head a little higher, spread the love like fire. Hope will fall like rain when you speak life with the words you say."

"Love Song for a Savior"

"He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens, as close as a heartbeat or a song on her lips. Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him. Someday He'll call her and she will come running and fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and she'll pray, 'I want to fall in love with You.'"

"Shine"

"Shine. Make 'em wonder what you've got. Make 'em wish that they were not on the outside, looking bored."

"Oceans"

"Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."

What are some of your favorite modern Christian songs? When I ask questions I always worry that no one will reply, which would be pretty funny and somewhat awkward, but I'll get over it so no worries.  ;)

By the way, I've been experimenting with one of those poll thingys on the left side of the blog, if you'd like to give your opinion on a question that has polarized many people…

Random Things #1: Blisters and a Song

Since this post will be pretty random, I've started a line of Random Things Posts. We'll see how long it takes to get to 100, and then…I dunno, I can make a cake or something to celebrate.

I think I have too much time on my hands.

Anyway, I currently have a sense of both accomplishment and pain. Accomplishment because I've gone on to the next level of the cello, and pain because that next level is thumb position.

For those unfamiliar with the more obscure workings of the cello, thumb position is when you press the strings down with--you guessed it--your thumb. It's used to play things higher up on the strings, sort of like this:

Steven Sharp Nelson, my hero. If you haven't heard of him, YouTube the Piano Guys. You won't regret it.

My cello journey has led me to this book, which is currently the bane of my existence:

Don't trust how friendly it looks on the outside. It is evil.

You know that you've gone too far on an instrument when your teacher tells you that if your thumb starts hurting and turning red and you can feel your pulse in it, you should stop practicing. Fortunately the only hard part of thumb position is starting, because you need to get a callous on your thumb, which according to my teacher comes from practicing enough that you get a blister and start growing new levels of skin. Lovely.

That was probably way more information than you wanted to know, but now you have been warned. Steven Sharp Nelson may look happy now, but his thumb has gone through intense agony in the past. 

Anyway, I've practiced thumb position for probably a total of 5 minutes so far, so I'd better get on it. Those callouses won't make themselves!  :P

I've also been discovering Mumford and Sons, one of those bands that has been out there for a while but I hadn't really thought about or listened to much before now. I like how thoughtful their lyrics are, and even if I don't quite understand all of what they're trying to get across, the imagery is gorgeous. Mumford's voice is sort of rough, which might be annoying to some people but I like the air of sincerity it gives to the songs.

Their song "After the Storm" has become one of my favorites. If you haven't heard it, you should look it up!

What do you think of the song? And have you had any painful experiences with instruments? Feel free to share in the comments!