Why I Chose a Secular College Over a Christian One

In the middle-class conservative Christian subculture that I've been born into, college is nigh a given. Going to a Christian college is highly, highly recommended unless you want to become a partying relativist who makes Cheese-Whiz towers in his or her spare time.

Thus when I chose to go to a local community college I did it to save money and perhaps to be a rebel.

But after a few weeks of commuting to classes (look at experienced me  :P) I think even if I did have the money to pay the steep admission rates of a Christian private school, I would still make the same decision in a heartbeat. I know this will come as a shock to many, so here are some of my reasons (in list format, of course, because my brain is too fried right now for a logical sequence of ideas):

1. Exposure

My college English professor is a somewhat angry liberal who pushes the PG-13 rating in every class, and I wouldn't have it any other way. As a homeschooler I haven't had much interaction with the rest of the world except for online, and it is SO different in real life. I think going to a Christian college would have been nigh similar to homeschooling because I would still be around people who have the same general beliefs and language and boundaries, whereas here I can practice appreciating and learning from people who are vastly different from myself.

2. Faith

Even thinking about God in college is SO HARD. I've realized that for my whole life I've been just going with the flow around like-minded people.

3. Practicality

Now for the obvious: this college is much cheaper than any private college. Not only that, but here I can actually major in the subject that I love the most: music. And the professors and students are all plugged into my hometown community, which means that getting a job in music will (hopefully) be relatively easy. Also the professors here are amazing at what they do, and chosen specifically for their abilities rather than for their religious background.

In conclusion, I figure that I might as well pay for challenging and practical lessons in my area of study than for a Christian community that I'm already plugged into for free.

So there you have it! A condensed version of my current thoughts.

*ducks a barrage of Bibles and VeggieTales DVDs*

What do you think about going to a Christian college? Feel free to disagree!

First Blogiversary!

John Green is an incredible source of GIFs

Like a twenty one pilots concert, this post will start out angsty and hopefully become something full of ukulele and bright colors. So here we go.

Mushy Oscar Speech Part

Skip this if you want to read the stats, grab a piece of pizza, and go on with your day.

A lot of the time I feel like no one "gets" me, for many reasons but especially since so much of me is invested in stories and characters and quotes, and many people don't value those things in the same way I do so it's hard to connect.

Of course, I've learned over years of experience that stories are not everything, and if I only relate to someone because he/she likes the same things I do, the conversation shuts down eventually once we've made all the fandom references possible. 

But it is good to know that there are other people out there who invest as much as I do in stories (and much more, in fact). You guys inspire me to read and also to write, and to remember that it's okay to be different. 

All you great bloggers I've had the privilege to discover this year have driven home to me the fact that difference is beautiful. Some of you have minimalistic blog settings, and use lots of superhero gifs. Some of you have flowery backdrops and talk about period dramas. Some of you mix all of those things together, and some of you are just weird.  ;) 

Some of you are introverts. Some are extroverts. Some write detailed posts on Meyers-Briggs and some don't know what that is, or don't care. 

There are so many different kinds of people, and I don't think I had realized before how beautiful that is. 

So thank you all for being awesome in unapologetically different ways. You remind me that fitness buffs are just as interesting and important as Marvel buffs. 

Not that they necessarily have to be separate people.

Celebratory Review Part

Including screenshots of blog stats because these are necessary for posterity.

We've made it, everybody! Through a year of GIFs, ranting, reviewing, and awkwardness. 

(For nostalgia purposes I'd like to link back to my first post ever, published, of course, on June 30 of last year. *hugs little me*)

Looking back over the blog, I've changed a lot. At this time in 2016 I didn't know there was such a thing as a blogging community, I hadn't written any ukulele songs, I had not written a first draft of a novel (or even gotten close), I wasn't as comfortable with my writing voice, I'd never heard of VlogBrothers, I had not seen High School Musical, I had never listened to twenty one pilots, and I was relatively normal, well-adjusted and productive.

Most of these changes are thanks to you who have been reading this blog, commenting on the blog whether online or offline, and just plain making amazing stuff on the internet whether you know I exist or not.

And now here's what you all have been waiting for: statistics.

To whoever seems to be reading the blog regularly from France (and maybe Russia...
?), hi, and that is awesome that you are reading from so far away!

Interesting.

Anyway thanks again, guys, and it seems only fitting that I end with Martin Freeman drinking tea...in an endless loop.

Comment below if you have anything in particular you'd like me to write about this coming year. Or if you feel like telling me about one of your favorite childhood summer memories. :)

Random Things #6: In Which I Become a Hipster

On my recent vacation I asked for coffee with breakfast and the server brought back a cute little teapot, cream, and sugar. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he had misheard. So I drank the tea even though the last time I tried it several years ago I couldn't stand it.

It was surprisingly good, which was exciting because I had been wishing that I liked tea because 1) it is very British, 2) it has caffeine in it, which puts me in a very good mood, and 3) it fits with all those gorgeous Pinterest aesthetic posts--the ones with vintage china, steaming tea, and an attractive person on a window seat. With rain pattering against the window, of course.

Ah yes, and writing. And glasses.

No person in this one (or window seat, for that matter),

but you know what I mean.

So a couple days ago I ran by the store and purchased a cute little thermos, along with a 20-pack of chai tea bags...

SO GOOD. Guys, tea makes me feel alive. Ah, it's so warm and aromatic and calming and stimulating and it just makes me happy. It just needs a lot of Splenda and warm milk, which we have plenty of so YAY.

The other thing that makes me feel like a hipster, or whatever part of the population posts tea aesthetics on Pinterest, is that I just acquired a laptop. (I say acquired instead of bought because my grandparents generously funded it as a graduation gift--thank you!)

It's an HP, and not the most fancy but it works splendidly and the screen is huge and the keyboard is SO satisfying to write on. The clackity clack sound is music to my ears. And now I have the utterly new experience of being able to write no matter where I am--on the couch, in bed...well, that's the extent of where I've taken it so far. But just imagine all the trendy photos I could potentially take if I wasn't so busy looking up Twenty One Pilots concert videos (ssh):

Oh yeah, also I've been listening to Twenty One Pilots a lot more, so does that make me a hipster, or a punk, or just plain weird?

***

Anyway, this is all a fluffy way of saying I've been having an identity crisis lately. I like a lot of things simply because other people whom I respect like them. Now and then someone will recommend something to me that I can't stand, but most things I grow to like. For example,  "Stressed Out" wasn't my favorite when I first listened to it, and now I'm listening to Twenty One Pilots for what is probably an unhealthy amount of time. Mostly because of all the positive things I've heard/read about them.

Anyone else have this problem? It's hard to tell who you are when you are so influenced by other people. I can't tell what's there under all the influences, which makes me feel lost. And I'm at that stage in life where I still don't know who I want to be, much less who I'm going to be, and I feel like I'm letting other people influence me way too much.

Let's conclude with a Switchfoot gif to end things on a happy note:

What's the most "hipster" thing you've ever done? Any existential struggles lately?

So Long: An Internet Hiatus

Douglas Adams, anyone?
*cricket*
*cricket*

Starting March 1, I won't be posting or reading y'all's posts until Easter.

"Are you out of your mind?" you say.

Well, sort of.

*cue epic narrator voice*

We Catholics celebrate forty days known as Lent as a preparation for Easter. It's customary to find something to give up and/or do during Lent that will help you grow closer to God. Usually this is something that we prize too highly for our own good, something that keeps us back from loving God and neighbor to the fullest.

In past years I've given up sweets, tv, stuff like that. But this time round I aim to give up something that is (unfortunately) a much bigger part of my daily life: the Internet.

*Imperial March plays*

That's right: 40 days without the Internet (excepting music, email, and school-related work).

You could say I'm not really giving up the Internet so much as I'm giving up the part of me that spends so much time online that I have trouble focusing on anything else. That checks Pinterest at least five times a day. That relies on YouTube videos *cough* Vlogbrothers *cough* to get me pumped up in the mornings.

I'm hoping to use the extra time to talk with friends in person *gasp*, spend time with family (including my new nephew!!! yes, I have a new nephew and he is adorable), finish schoolwork, and read a lot (most of which will probably be Neal Shusterman).

So this is a tearful goodbye, but as Gandalf says, "Not all tears are an evil."

Farewell, awesome people. Seeya on the other side.

*runs away from the computer chair and pretends that wasn't a Hamilton reference*

Random Things #5: A Poem and My Self-Imposed NaNoWriMo

Sherlock and Watson send their somewhat awkward respects.

Yes, it's been a while since I've posted anything. I've been scrambling to finish schoolwork, so on the weekends I've been wanting to relax instead of type. But the main reason is that I haven't had particular ideas for blogging. I feel like I've been cheating you guys with all these posts that, even when they aren't labeled "Random Things," are pretty all-over-the-place. That's because I like to type a quick draft, look it over, and send it out, rather than actually thinking about what I'm writing. 

After this one, I'm hoping to send out some more cohesive posts. These will likely range from book/movie/music reviews to thoughts on the universe to discussions of particular areas of life to guest posts, if anyone would like to do them! 

If you know me, you know that I hate commitments, so that's not a hard-and-fast promise. We'll see what happens.    :)

For now, behold, a poemish thing!

"Voices": A Poemish Thing

Each quaver represents a year
Each rise and fall calls to mind the paradox that those who fall will rise again
Like rings in the body of a tree, the vibrato reflects the age of the singer
A woman from days of elaborate curls and black and white,
A man from days of wheat and silence,
Share one thing: a voice
Aged and strident
Aged and beautiful

***

And behold, a writing thing:

NaNoWriMo…in February??? 

Yes, you read that right. I'm planning on doing NaNoWriMo: The Slow Version this February and March. By March 31, I hope to have finished a spanking new 50,000 word first draft. (That deadline will very likely change. :P  You'll also notice there are a lot of "planning" and "hope"-like words in this post. I plan to do something about that soon...)

Why this insanity, you may ask?

One word: Boredom. I'm still planning a creative writing class for myself this semester, but slogging through short writing exercises doesn't compare to the joy and drive that I get from working on one cohesive story. Also, working on an overarching project helps my life in general. Especially in this dark, cold winter, I feel more meaning in life when I can be creative in this controlled way. 

Plus, I somehow came up with two detailed characters and a plot in the past few days. A PLOT, you guys! I am so excited about this. And it's not something super crazy like saving the entire planet, which are the plots that I usually come up with at the beginning of brainstorming. This plot is much more character-driven and closer to home. 

This more personal story is probably a result of the recent media I've consumed such as Hamilton, La La Land, and The Fault in Our Stars, which prove that even a small piece of a person's life contains huge dramatic potential. 

The title may still be subject to change, but that didn't stop me from making a cover as soon as I could. There's nothing more satisfying than seeing a cover with "Art3mis Took" at the bottom. (Sure, call me a narcissist. I'm a writer; I can take my righteous umbrage out on fictional characters.)

Isn't it pretty?  ^_^

So far it's a fantasy romance. That's all I can tell you for now, since I found with my last story that if I share ideas with people before the book is finished, the ideas seem less cool to me. No offense.  :)



How's your winter going? Dark and cold? And if you're interested in writing a guest post,or if you have particular topics you'd like to see posts on, let me know!

The Obligatory New Year's Post

My new year's resolution is to be a llama.

Let me explain.

A couple days ago Mom and I were shopping for little on-sale Christmassy things at Target, and we were looking through the wrapping paper section when I saw something that stopped me in my tracks.

Llama wrapping paper.

We decided to buy it, and as we were trekking to the register Mom pointed out "You know this is really ugly, right?" to which I pointed out that attractiveness doesn't matter; it's llama wrapping paper.

Behold:

Llamas.

Llamas.

LLAMAS.

Fast forward to that evening. I'm sitting at adoration and going over the readings for January 1, 2017, the feast of Mary, Mother of God.

The first reading is from Numbers:

The LORD said to Moses: "Speak to Aaron and his sons and tell them: This is how you shall bless the Israelites. Say to them:
The LORD bless you and keep you!
The LORD let his face shine upon you, and be gracious to you!
The LORD look upon you kindly and give you peace!
So shall they invoke my name upon the Israelites, and I will bless them."

What does it mean for God to "keep" someone?

The first thing I think of when I hear the word "keep" is someone going shopping and thinking Oh, that [insert word here] looks cool; I think I'll keep it.

And then it hit me:

Llama wrapping paper is weird and unusual and kind of ugly depending on how you look at it. But I saw it among all the other wrapping paper tubes and said, "Let's keep it!"

Kind of like God making me and being like, "Wow, she turned out weird. But she's a keeper."

So my motivational new year's line for you is we are all llama wrapping paper.

And that's awesome.

God Bless Us, Every One!

(I read the title in my brother's voice because he loves making fun of the squeaky delivery that every actor uses for this line. Thanks bro.)

Merry, merry Christmas!

It's so easy to forget that Christmas lasts for twelve days (at least in the Catholic calendar) because it seems that the decorations start going down at 11:59 on Christmas Eve. And the Christmas music

stops playing too, which makes it difficult. So to remind myself, merry Christmas again, everyone!

This post isn't going anywhere in particular, I just felt like I should post after reading through a lot of Chrismassy, NaNoWriMo-y blog posts and realizing that I really want a Christmas post on my blog. A gorgeous, streamlined setup like so many of the blogs I've been reading would be really nice too, but as of yet I barely know how to insert my header, so baby steps.

Christmas morning was lovely. We had gone to the vigil mass the previous night so I got to sleep in until about 9:30, which felt amazing (no, I'm not one of those people who must get up early for the full Yuletide experience), and then my family ate scones and opened stockings and presents and more stockings (because my brother and sister-in-law came over at that point), and we ate a lot of potatoes and Egg's Benedict for brunch, then opened more presents and played a new card game (Iota--it's really confusing but intriguing) and then it was just Mom and Dad and I at home and we crashed.

It was the Christmas-afternoon-crash, which is one of my favorite times of the year. The time when the smells of white-chocolate-craisin scones and eggs and potatoes and hollandaise sauce till permeate the house, and we all play with our new gadgets and then grab the occasional snack from Christmas Eve dinner. It's calming and thrilling and nostalgic and wonderful.

During this time I read through Act 1 of Hamilton: the Revolution--a gift from my parents.


Speaking of which, there was definitely a present-y theme going on this year. Behold:

The libretto of the play, along with the story of how it made it to
Broadway and the White House

A random picture of the bookmark that I'm using with it, which I  made with MJ--
the BBC version of Sherlock's Reichenbach Fall (Idea found on Pinterest, of course.)

Technically I got this for Dad, but gifts go both ways. Hehe.

Yes, that is an Alexander Hamilton bobblehead. Too big for my car's dash, but still amazing.
He's on the piano right now, inspiring me.

Also, I now have a t-shirt that says "Talk less, smile more," and another that says "I had a life until I started listening to Hamilton," which is painfully accurate.

There were many other wonderful gifts which I will not name here, for sake of brevity and finger energy. Suffice to say, thank you to everyone.

***

Some other things that have been happening

I forced MJ and her sister to watch my favorite Christmas movie: Nativity! 

Yes, the exclamation point is in the title. It's that kind of movie.

In summary, Martin Freeman is the main character and he gets into a lot of trouble when he tries to make a musical production of the Nativity with cute British schoolchildren. It's adorable. The whole movie gives me warm fuzzies in my heart. (Some questionable dance moves and one mild swear word are in there, so beware. Otherwise it's perfect.)

Look and be amazed:

Martin Freeman makes me so happy. 😍

Also, I've been thinking about college studies, and I've tentatively decided on music as a minor and English as a major. We'll see how that idea stands the test of time.

Also, skating!!! I went skating with Mom and my aunt when she was in town, and was amazed at how big the outside is. Seriously, I hadn't done something outside in a long, long time. I need to get out more.  xD

***

Some Plans for the Near Future

Watching La La Land with Mom. It just came out in select theaters, and it's a musical starring Emma Stone. A musical, guys! With real actors! I don't think I've ever seen a musical come out in theaters that isn't animated. So that's exciting.

Watching the new Doctor Who Christmas special, for obvious reasons.

Figuring out my classes for next semester.

Reading Harry Potter and the Cursed Child.

Building my thumb callous (it's a cello thing).

Finishing BBC's Merlin.

Hanging out with friends.

Celebrating for the next week+ of the Christmas season! Yeehaw!

And...yep, that's pretty much it. Merry Christmas!

How was your Christmas? Have you gotten to do any winter-y activities yet?

What Happens When I Watch TV and Eat Chocolate at a Late Hour and then Blog

Sometimes life hurts.

I was just thinking about that after having a fun family movie night watching Arthur Christmas (for those who haven't seen it, watch it right now; it's adorable), then deciding to continue our healthy tv streak by watching an episode of Monk with my mom.

It started out weird. And cute. And funny, even funnier than most Monk episodes. But then disaster struck and it was just so emotionally heart wrenching that Mom and I got up when it was over agreeing "Well, that was horrible."

That's kind of a ridiculous example of life problems, but you know what I mean, right? There are those fun outings with friends where something really awkward happens, or someone gets sick, or people are dealing with problems at home so they just don't seem themselves anymore.

Problems like that, from small to big, don't get media attention. They don't get put in movies, or books. They just crop up in our everyday lives reminding us that life isn't perfect.

But there's something in us that tells us that something's wrong with that, right? We instinctively know that this life must not be all there is. These little nagging imperfections remind us that the momentary pleasures we can get from moment to moment, from laughing with friends to watching tv to just browsing Pinterest, are always mixed with a little bit of grief, a little bit of pain. Nothing ever seems to fulfill us.

That's one of the reasons that I love music so much. It takes me out of myself almost to another world, distracting me from the problems at hand so I can just sort of float and not worry about what's coming next. I'm kind of a chronic worrier--I get nervous about anything from casual social events to teaching piano lessons. Even though I've done those things a million times and nothing that bad has ever happened. So music is an outlet. Whether I'm making it or listening to it, it helps me forget, and reminds me that there is beauty out there. When I get home mentally exhausted from a long day, the first thing I do is turn on some music and just let all the awkwardness and the little problems of the day float away.

Music is kind of like prayer. You can abandon yourself to music the same way you're supposed to abandon yourself to God, when you just sit in his presence and he lets you know that it's going to be all right and that the little problems of life are nothing compared to those little beauties of life that are so easy to ignore sometimes.

So often I forget that God's waiting for us to turn to him. Not so he can take the pain away, but so he can be with us. He can hold us and let us know with little things like the right song at the right time, or the perfect Bible verse, that He's there and He cares.

Life hurts. But God heals.

The Career Post

Why am I including this Studio C meme in a post about careers, you ask? Well, it's one of the first things that came up when I looked up "studio c careers meme." Also, it illustrates the scary fact that grownups are just larger kids. 

At least that's what I've grown to think about getting older. Heck, I'm two years from technically being a grownup, and I have no more idea of what career I'm going to choose than I had when I was five. Actually I have less of an idea than when I was five, because back then I was very confident that I was going to be a "nun vet." (I wonder if there are actually nuns who are vets. That would be the bomb (or "thebomb.com," as a friend would say).

Are all you high schoolers out there stressing out about careers as much as I am? It's scary because there are so many choices out there, and what I study in college (which is NEXT YEAR, aaaaaaa!) will heavily influence the career path I take. And I have no idea what I want to study in college. 

There's the part of me that just wants a simple piano teaching job, or a job working in a bookstore or library, and then there's the part of me that is like Legolas and Dash and Alexander Hamilton all at

"There are a million things I haven't done, but just you wait..."

the same time, and says "Go get 'em! Impress everyone with your super specific college abilities and change the world! Write day and night like you're running out of time! HISTORY HAS ITS EYES ON YOU," etc.

Does anyone else have that same problem? It just seems like if I don't do something really big and epic like becoming part of the UN then my life will be wasted. Which I know could not be further from the truth; as Gandalf says, 

“Some believe it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. It is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay."

...and there's my internal existential debate of the day. Hope you enjoyed it. Let's move on to potential job choices (arranged in no particular order):

1. Piano teacher

I currently have five piano students. I enjoy some parts of teaching piano and it's very satisfying to see students progress, but it's also pretty stressful and it would be a lot of driving and logistics if I decided to do that full time. 

2. Librarian

Libraries are amazing. The quite atmosphere, the floating dust motes, the books everywhere you look. What is not amazing is all the PR work you have to do as a librarian. It looks like there's a lot of work done organizing activities and such, whereas I would rather just find books for people and talk about books. 

3. Schoolteacher

Schoolteaching like in When Calls the Heart looks pretty cool:

I wouldn't mind wearing outfits like that and falling in love with that guy on the left who is the most amazing guy in the world (which I am fully certified to claim even though I've only seen two episodes of the show).

And it has the same perk of piano teaching: you get to see students progress. And it would be nice to talk about my favorite topics--you guessed it, books. English. That sort of thing. 

But nowadays I feel like it would involve a lot of stress, too: dealing with problem children and the public school mentality that you can't involve morality in the classroom. A private school would be different though, but that brings in a whole slew of other issues such as internal gossip and limited subject opportunities.

4. Psychologist

The subject is interesting...but nope, not doing it.

5. Writer

The profession that probably wins the "most likely to get you broke" award. And I LOVE IT. It's so cool to be able to make money by creating characters and worlds out of your own head and selling them to people so they can experience the same things that you did while writing that story. I'm getting a little taste of this after NaNoWriMo, and I've realized that's one of the most enjoyable things in the world. 

Also, a writer follows in the footsteps of Tolkien and Lewis and Chesterton and all those amazing people. It's super epic. 

The problem with writing is the uncertainty. Am I even good enough to ever get published? What kind of class would I take, because creative writing classes seem to be so subjective? What would I do as a side job, or as a full job if writing didn't work out? 

6. Nun

Which isn't really a job; it's more a vocation. But I've been really considering whether I'm called to enter religious life or not. It's always been an attractive option and when I visited the Nashville Dominicans' convent with some friends about a year ago it was the most peaceful place I'd ever been to, and everyone was so joyful that it was contagious. 

I feel like nuns (or "sisters," in this case, since they're not cloistered) have a stigma attached to them of being boring and grouchy all the time. Some orders might be like that, but the Dominican Sisters and the Sisters of Life that I've met are fantastic and are so in love with God (and with life!) that it's really inspiring and it makes me want to be like that. And they help so many people, too! Dominicans in particular spend their time teaching, which as mentioned before is difficult but helpful for students especially if you can spread joy and peace to them.

So joyful!!!

But that can't really be decided by weighing pros and cons, it's more a matter of prayer and experience. So we'll see what happens. I'll be sure to warn you all before I go off and frolic in a convent.  ;)

7. Owner of a book shop in England

Always an option. My friend and I had a dream a few years ago that I would run the bookshop part and she would run the coffee shop part and we would share a flat. It would be, to quote the ninth Doctor, "Fantastic."

Never mind business expenses, the cost of moving overseas, or the trauma of never seeing friends or family again. Those don't compare with the book shop in England part...right?

8. Journalist

My whole "change the world" alter ego loves this profession. But my actual ego is kind of skeptical: will I ever have enough street smarts to be a good journalist? Will I have to report on boring stuff like veterinary clinic taxes? And will it be worth the pay, because according to my journalism teacher, the typical local newspaper journalist gets paid sometimes less than a McDonald's worker?

I guess you never know until you try. But "trying" means studying it in college, while there are so many other classes I want to study in college to...

***

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant at you about careers. That was fun, and hopefully it created a nice pros and cons sort of thing that I can look back at when I become a janitor for the rest of my life and I can look back at it thinking "Wow, such an ambitious young whippersnapper. I wonder what happened."

But it's the small deeds that make a difference, right? So to all you janitors out there, cheers. We appreciate you.

Are you stressing out about careers too? Do you have any particular ones in mind? 

Into the Unknown

"…the furthest away from the Shire I've ever been…"

Uh…hi, everyone!

*cricket*

*cricket*

Just so you know, I've never had a blog before in my life. Ever. That's why this post is going to be so awkward (beware my powers of awkwardness!).

I'm still boggled at all the possibilities for this medium. I'm also little scared because I'm afraid that no one will read my posts and I'll just be writing to myself. Or even worse, what if people do read some of what I'm writing but they think it's boring and just move on?

I just need to remind myself that my main reason for blogging is to have fun and to develop my writing skills while (hopefully) entertaining the stray kindred spirit, and that it doesn't matter what people think. No offense to you, of course. I appreciate that you've read this far.   :)  

Anyway, welcome to my weird and wacky blog. I don't quite know where I'm going with this myself, so I'll be quiet for now. Just…welcome.

Be prepared for some upcoming posts that are heavily influenced by Catholicism, British authors, and pop culture! I'm excited, and I hope you are, too. Wait, I forgot I don't care what you think. But you know what I mean.  ;)